I have had two evenings out with friends in the past two weeks (so rare).............it has been great, i miss being able to go out and act goofy and have conversations, laugh and just be with friends..............i dont have to worry about my 2 yr old running amuck! It has been a little tough this summer because jimi has had a very busy schedule and it has been olivia and i alot of the time. There hasnt been much time for friends or me time or couple time. But olivia and i have had a good time just hanging out. I'm afraid that when school starts it will be hard on all of us................I will have to transition into work mode, jimi will have to transition into not having me around all the time to keep olivia, so he will have to think and plan his schedule around livi instead of going on his own schedule all the time, and livi will be transitioning back into having daddy hanging around all day (which, to be honest, means less structure and less of a balanced diet!) Can you tell i'm a little bit of a control freak!? I have always had issues with them being home and i am not able to control what they do all day without me here! i'm the same way in my classroom, i have trouble not being able to control what happens when im not there, i didnt have much trouble when livi was born because it was the very end of the school year. But now i will be gone 2-3 months in the middle of the year and will have to go back to those same kids. i'm trying not to be nervous. The school year is always stressful, even more so since olivia. I have alot of passion for my job, and i want to be an amazing mom, and i also have to be there for my husband, and when your husband is in the ministry, that is like an extra job. Its not a 9-5 or 40 hr a week job and neither is teaching. how do you balance all that passion and keep it alive? can you be good at all those things or can you be good at just one and the others fall away? Is it better to throw yourself into one passion and do it well or spread yourself thin and do it all? These are questions i keep coming back to and wondering how the busyness of life will affect my job, my family, relationships, and the ministry?
At this point i cant give the ministry as much face time as i would like because when jimi is there, i'm running after olivia. i would love to give myself to just one: teaching or being there for olivia and the ministry. unfortunately i cant do everything.
sometimes i think if i had a less demanding job (like just a job) that i would be able to invest more of myself, but then i think: what else would i do that would support my family, provide benefits and provide me good working hours.
Again, these are just thoughts that i think when i sit and think....................
Anyway, i had a feeling today.................i think this little boy is going to come into the world a little early. Just a prediction. i could be wrong, but it was just a feeling i had. i'm so excited about having another little one, until i start thinking about the details, like going back to work and having to come home to two little ones at night and manage them on my own after a busy day at school. But we will cross that bridge when we get there!
This week we have a busy, but fun week planned! We are going to the zoo tomorrow, then the parade on tuesday, coney island on wednesday i have to get some work done on thurs and fri and get my hair done! Then sunday early early, we are leaving for vacation in virginia beach. We are all excited about vacation. This will be our first family vacation and our first beach vacation! I cant wait to listen to the ocean and see the expansiveness of it. i love the ocean, it is one of the most spiritual places on earth, along with the mountains.AAAHHHHH creation and the depths of it! And i get to take my husband away from phone calls, texts and the computer for a whole 5 days! i'm excited to see livi's reaction to the beach, seeing it for the first time!
After vacation i'm back to work right away and praying for a less challenging school year! HA!
Jury Duty
10 hours ago
